Language Hobo

Language learning for language lovers

30 Funny Danish-Language Jokes For Learners (With English Translations)

30 Funny Danish-Language Jokes For Learners (With English Translations)

Okay, so you might not think that reading jokes in Danish could be beneficial to a language learner, but actually, it can be really helpful! By reading jokes in Danish, you can get a feel for the language and see how it’s used by native speakers in a natural, everyday context.

You’ll also be able to test your knowledge of the language, particularly when it comes to riddle-like jokes that play on words.

uTalk over 150 languages - 20% off discount

And, let’s face it, who doesn’t love a good laugh?

Here, you’ll find 30 clean, mostly inoffensive Danish-language jokes with their English translations. It should be noted that the translations are meant to give you a general idea of the joke’s meaning – they are not literal. Many of them don’t translate well and thus won’t make sense if you don’t have some knowledge of the Danish language.

 

Hvad sker der, når man træder på en citron?

– Den bliver sur.

What happens when you step on a lemon?

– It becomes sour.

____________________

Hvordan får man en fisk til at grine?

– Putter den i kildevand.

How do you make a fish laugh?

– You put it in spring water.

____________________

Hvordan ser Tarzan hvad klokken er?

– Han går ind i urskoven

How does Tarzan know what time it is?

– He goes into the primeval forest

____________________

Hvilken nød har ingen skal?

– En pebernød

Which nut has no shell?

– A peppercorn

____________________

Hvilken slags pærer kan man ikke spise?

– En elektrisk pære og en hestepære

What kind of pear can’t you eat?

– An electrical bulb and a horse bulb.

____________________

What do you call a pig on Mars

Hvad kalder man en gris på mars?

– Et marsvin.

What do you call a pig on Mars?

– A guinea pig.

____________________

Hvilke blommer hænger ikke på træerne?

– Æggeblommer

Which plums don’t hang on trees?

– Egg yolks.

____________________

Hvad er en vegetar?

– Gammel indiansk ord for ’dårlig jæger’!

What is a vegetarian?

– An old Indian word for “bad hunter”!

____________________

Do you know how the snowman shaves

Ved du hvordan snemanden barberer sig?

– Han bruger en is-skraber!

Do you know how the snowman shaves?

– He uses an ice scraper!

____________________

Hvad er det mest urealistiske i Harry Potter-bøgerne?

– En rødhåret med to venner!

What is the most unrealistic thing in the Harry Potter books?

– A redhead with two friends!

____________________

Hvorfor holdt lyset op med at lyse når elefanten satte sig på lygten?

– Batteriet blev fladt.

Why did the light go out when the elephant sat on the lamp?

– The battery went flat.

____________________

Hvad sagde den ene lygtepæl til den anden?

– “Skal vi gå ud sammen.”

What did one lamppost say to the other?

– “Shall we go out together.”

____________________

Hvad sagde koen da den satte sig ind i taxa’en?

– Køer.

What did the cow say when it got into the taxi?

– Cows.

____________________

Hvor kommer den nye nabo fra?

– Polen.

– Nåh, Sydpolen eller Nordpolen?

Where does the new neighbor come from?

– Poland.

– Oh, the South Pole or the North Pole?

____________________

Hvor gammel kan en elg blive?

– Ældgammel

How old can an elk get?

– Ancient

____________________

Hvilken vej kan man ikke køre på?

– Mælkevejen

Which road can’t you drive on?

– The Milky Way.

____________________

Which school should the giraffe go to

Hvilken skole skal giraffen gå på?

– En højskole fordi den har så lang en hals

Which school should the giraffe go to?

– A high school because it has such a long neck.

____________________

Hvor mange mennesker bor der i Danmark?

– Der bor 2! Dan og Mark

How many people live in Denmark?

– There are 2! Dan and Mark.

____________________

Det har været en forfærdelig dag. Først blev min ekskæreste ramt af en bus, og bagefter mistede jeg mit job som buschauffør.

It’s been a terrible day. First, my ex-girlfriend/boyfriend was hit by a bus, and then I lost my job as a bus driver.

____________________

Hvorfor skulle skyen i skole?

– Fordi den skulle lære at regne

Why did the cloud go to school?

– Because it needed to learn how to count.

____________________

Ved du, hvorfor der skal 22 århusianere til at malke en ko?

– Der skal 2 til at holde i patterne og 20 til at løfte koen op og ned.

Do you know why it takes 22 people from Aarhus to milk a cow?

– It takes 2 to hold the udders and 20 to lift the cow up and down.

____________________

Din mor er så fed at vis hun satte sig iPhone ville det blive til en iPad.

Your mom is so fat that if she sat on an iPhone it would turn into an iPad.

____________________

Why does the bear have fur

Hvorfor har bjørnen pels?

– Fordi den ville se virkelig dum ud i en regnfrakke

Why does the bear have fur?

– Because it would look really stupid in a raincoat.

____________________

Matematik er nemt nok. Hvis du har 100 kroner, og din kone har 75 kroner, så har din kone 175 kroner.

Math is easy enough. If you have 100 kroner and your wife has 75 kroner, then your wife has 175 kroner.

____________________

Mother snail

Sneglemoderen: Pas nu på børn. I må ikke gå over vejen, for der kommer en bil om 4 timer!

Mother Snail: Be careful now, children. You mustn’t cross the road, because a car will come in 4 hours!

____________________

Hvad kalder man en boomerang, der ikke kommer tilbage?

– En pind!

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?

– A stick!

____________________

Hvordan opdagede du egentlig at du var farveblind?

– Det kom sådan set bare ud af det lilla.

How did you actually find out that you were colorblind?

– It just sort of came out of the blue.

____________________

Tror du appelsiner har lyst til at være juice, eller bliver de presset til det?

Do you think oranges want to be juice, or are they pressed into it?

____________________

I geografitimen spurgte læreren Jens, hvor Vejle ligger.

I 1. division svarede Jens.

In geography class, the teacher asked Jens where Vejle is.

– In 1st division, Jens replied.

____________________

Two cows standing in a field

2 køer står på en mark, pludselig siger den ene “Muh”.

Skuffet svarer den anden “øv- det skulle jeg lige til at sige”.

Two cows are standing in a field, suddenly one of them goes “Moo”.

The other one looks disappointed and says “Aww, I was just about to say that”.


If you want to read some more Danish content, check out The Best Danish Proverbs and Quotes and Danish Poems and Rhymes for Children, both with English translations.